


Everybody's Changing And I Don't Feel The Same

by ProblematicPines



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Advice, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gem Fusion, Gen, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair, Rose's Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProblematicPines/pseuds/ProblematicPines
Summary: “Hey, Room,” Steven addressed the infinite expanse of clouds. His voice rang out, clear and resounding in the silence. “Long time, no see. Sorry about that.”If the room had any kind of sentience, it made no sign of it.Steven awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck (unintentionally removing a couple stray cactus spines, too), and cleared his throat.“So...um. I have a favour to ask. I need to talk to somebody about...about my problems. Somebody who will listen, and know just what to say.”He inhaled, and exhaled, bracing himself.“Room, please can I see my Mo-”Last moment decision.“Er- I can please see Rainbow Quartz?”
Relationships: Rainbow Quartz & Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Everyone
Comments: 10
Kudos: 112





	Everybody's Changing And I Don't Feel The Same

There were only so many times that Steven could stare up at his bedroom ceiling and count the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the wood. He inhaled deep through his nose, and sighed a long, drawn-out sigh. He lay deflated on his bed, spread-eagled on the mattress. His duvet was lying near the top of the stairs, having been discarded by Cactus Steven earlier that day when he got out of control and started spewing...all that.

Steven grimaced at the memory. Seeing the looks on all the Gems’ faces, hearing the concern in their voices when the living cacti started rasping out all the insecurities Steven had confided in him...the thought made him want to be sick.

Despite his motionlessness on the bed, Steven was eating away at himself inside. His stomach was twisting itself up into a dreadfully tight knot, and he was sure that his Gem might crack from all the pressure he was under, both mentally and physically.

Glancing sideways, Steven turned his gaze from the boring ceiling to his window. It overlooked the balcony, which in turn overlooked the beach. The sea was calm today; its foamy waves gently lapped at the white sand, drawing in and out in a steady, methodical pattern that Steven paid close attention to.

He wished that his own sea mirrored the one outside; calm, clear, and undisturbed. Instead, his own sea was a raging typhoon, with huge, crashing black waves and a vicious, torrential downpour that threatened to sweep him out underneath the stormy black sky.

_ “Why must everybody change?” _

_ “Why can’t I change with them?” _

_ “Why is it so hard for me to accept that?” _

That thought swam about in his head, tossed around by the unrelenting waves like a tiny ship braving the storm. Steven just wanted to take it out and lock it away forever, lock it away like his mother did with all her problems, lock it away in Lion’s mane, or in her abandoned leg-ship, or her-

_ “Her room.” _

That thought broke through the storm, only if momentarily. An idea formed in Steven’s mind. It was a crazy idea, maybe even an impossible one. But it was an idea nonetheless, and at this point, Steven was willing to go with any half-baked idea if it meant giving himself some peace of mind.

Steven sat up in his bed, and waited for a few seconds, listening. He could hear the Gems talking quietly to themselves downstairs, clearly not wanting him to hear.

“They’re obviously talking about me,” Steven thought. He felt a spike of frustration, the first emotion he’d felt in hours aside from crippling misery and stomach-churning uncertainty.

How could they not be?

It was his fault that Cactus Steven had gone on his rampage, it was his fault that they had to sit there and listen to all his selfish complaints about them and how they were acting. It was his fault that Cactus Steven partially wrecked the house they’d worked so hard to rebuild.

It was only fair that they backstabbed him a little.

_ Pink. _

_ Pink Pink Pink. PinkPinkPinkPinkPinkPinkPinkPinkPinkpinkpinkpinkpinkkpnikpinkknipkpinkki _

“Calm down,” Steven told himself. He could feel the surge brewing underneath his skin, the surge of power that he’d only recently tapped into and had no way to control. The haunting pink glow that illuminated his body continued buzzing for a moment more, like he’d just been struck by a lightning bolt from his personal storm, before fading away, slumbering in his Gem until the next time his emotions heightened.

Steven exhaled, relieved, but also concerned.

The last thing he needed was another Pink-powered freakout. Both he and the Gems had suffered enough one day.

Careful to avoid the many cactus spines littering his bedroom floor, Steven made his way downstairs, not caring to tip-toe to mask his descent from the Gems. He paused on the stairwell when he glimpsed the Gems in the living room.

Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl were all crowded on the sofa, talking in hushed tones. None of them seemed to have noticed him, as they were too busy voicing their concerns about what had happened.

“I just don’t know why Steven didn’t think he could talk to us about these feelings,” Pearl lamented, wringing her hands together.

Garnet assuredly rubbed her back.

“Steven has been through a lot,” she said, sounding as cool and as collected as ever. The hand that rubbed at her eyes underneath her visor betrayed her concern for her adoptive son.

“Yeah, but he’s still spoke to us about his problems before,” Amethyst interjected, sounding a little more assertive than the other two.

Steven bit his lip. He knew that he should talk to them. He knew that it was the right thing to do. But all he’d ever done was talk, and where had that landed him?

In space, on trial, locked away, left to deal with everybody else’s problems until they manifested as his own.

Talking to the Gems was the right thing to do, but it was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

Steven steeled himself, and made the rest of the walk downstairs. The Gems immediately heard him and turned around to look at him, looks of worry on their prickle-studded faces. Steven did his best to ignore them and instead headed straight for the Temple Door at the other end of the house. He fixed his gaze on that, doing his best to ignore everything else; the Gems’ assurances that he could talk to them, the gaping hole in the side of the house that Cactus Steven had left behind, the sheer destruction that had been left over. Despite his efforts to block them out, the stress was accumulating again, and with it, the electric buzzing beneath his skin. Steven clenched his fists tighter, inhaling and exhaling through his nose, trying to stop the pink glow from spreading.

“Just go to the room, just go to the room, just go to-”

_ Pink Pink Pink Pink _

“-st go to the room, just go to the room, just-”

_ Pink Pink PINK PINK PINK PINK PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK _

“Steven, please can you talk to us?” Pearl pleaded, sounding utterly distraught. She reached out a trembling hand and placed it on her adoptive son’s shoulder, hoping that a comforting touch would be enough to ease his racing heart and mind.

That one touch, however, had the opposite effect. Steven bristled at the touch, and his inner storm seethed into an apocalyptic turmoil that made the intense buzzing envelop his whole body in a sizzling burst of pink light.

_ PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPNKINKIPKIPNKNIPKP _

“Please, PLEASE just leave me alone,” Steven begged, doing his best to sound sympathetic instead of angry. He wasn’t even that angry, but this pink aura was heating him up and making his world seem like it was scorching with a fury that wasn’t truly his own.

The Gems recoiled, Pearl snatching her hand back and clutching it to her shaking chest.

“Steven, we understand that you’re dealing with your own problems right now,” Garnet began to say, still collected and calm. “But we’re here for you if you need-”

“ _I KNOW_ ,” Steven snapped. He stepped over the Warp Pad and took his place in front of the Temple Door. With a trembling hand he lifted up his shirt to reveal his Gem, which was emitting the same blinding pink light that had engulfed his body.

The Temple Door lit up a bright pink upon him revealing his Gemstone, and subsequently opened to reveal Rose’s Room. Wisps of pink cloud fluttered through the open doorway, curling around Steven and the Gems.

_“You owe them more than just that,”_ Steven told himself.

“I KNOW that...that you all want to help me, and talk to me, but...Right now, all I want is a bit of time to myself.”

_“Stop there,”_ he told himself.

“Is that so much to ask?”

The last line came as a snap, unintentionally harsher than what he’d intended. He didn’t even intend to say that much. Everything was just spilling out, and if everything was spilling out, then he didn’t want a repeat of Cactus Steven.

Not waiting for their response, Steven stepped through the Temple Door and allowed it to shut behind him, cutting off whatever pleas the Gems had up their sleeves.

He was alone.

Rose’s Room was still as infinitely vast as ever, a never-ending skyline of puffy pink and white clouds that composed this area of the Temple. It was peacefully quiet in there, with only the faintest of breezes whistling past Steven as he stood, shaking and glowing, in the expanse. He peered down at his clenched fists. He was still glowing with his destructive pink aura. Steven had no idea what a freakout in here would result in, and frankly, he didn’t want to find out. Doing his best to calm his raging storm, Steven flexed his fingers and took deep, shaky breaths.

“Calm, calm, calm,” he repeated to himself. A mantra he’d taught himself since his first freakout. It didn’t help all the time, but in such a peaceful and pastel area, he couldn’t help but allow some of his frustration to slip away. After a short while, the buzzing faded, as did the aura. The only pink now were the clouds that lazily floated around him.

Steven cursed himself for being so cold with the Gems. They were only trying to help him, and he pushed them away. He needed to apologize to them later.

Not talk to them, but apologize.

He would figure out how.

That’s what he did.

That’s what Steven was good for.

He was everybody’s therapist, always there to make everybody feel better, even if it came with going without his own-

“Calm, calm, calm,” Steven cooled himself. He didn’t want that pink aura to return any time soon, so long as he could help it.

He decided to do what he’d come here for. Getting away from the Gems was one thing, but actually coming to his mom’s Room for what he had in mind required just him, and him alone. In more ways than one.

“Hey, Room,” Steven addressed the infinite expanse of clouds. His voice rang out, clear and resounding in the silence. “Long time, no see. Sorry about that.”

If the room had any kind of sentience, it made no sign of it.

Steven awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck (unintentionally removing a couple stray cactus spines, too), and cleared his throat.

“So...um. I have a favour to ask. I need to talk to somebody about...about my problems. Somebody who will listen, and know just what to say.”

He inhaled, and exhaled, bracing himself.

“Room, please can I see my Mo-”

Last moment decision.

“Er- I can please see Rainbow Quartz?”

A moment or two passed, with nothing happening. For a few seconds, Steven was concerned that his disuse of the Room had somehow caused its magical abilities to falter, if that were even possible. He opened his mouth to request the Room again, when all of a sudden-

“Helloooooooo, Steven~!”

The call came from high above him. Steven craned his neck back to see a lanky figure gracefully descending from the clouds above, their descent slowed to a lax speed by the parasol they held above them.

It was Rainbow 2.0!

“Hey, Rainbow,” Steven called in greeting. He was relieved to see somebody that he could talk to about his problems, since technically, he was Rainbow, and Rainbow was him. And who else could talk to him better than himself?

Or at least, the next best thing.

The Fusion landed beside Steven with a graceful tip-toe, and with a dramatic flourish he folded up his parasol and balanced on its handle like a cane. Steven was slightly taken aback; he’d never really seen himself when he and Pearl were Rainbow, and he was struck by just how similar the two of them looked.

Rainbow smiled pleasantly down at the shorter boy, his four eyes twinkling.

“My my, you’re quite the handsome chap, aren’t you?” Rainbow teased, his thick English accent accentuating his words. A large, pink hand playfully squeezed Steven’s cheek. “Though that might be quite narcissistic to say, don’t you think? Ohohohoho~!” Rainbow’s haughty laugh brought a faint smile to Steven’s face; his first smile in days, it felt like.

Though he knew Rainbow was no more than the Room’s manifestation of the Fusion, Steven was still shocked by just how lifelike he really was.

“It’s great to see you, Rainbow,” Steven replied quietly.

“Same here, lad!” Rainbow chirped. “Tea?”

Steven glanced around.

“There is no-”

Before he could finish, Rainbow lifted his parasol and waved its tip around in the air thrice, before a small puff of pink clouds and rainbow light surrounded them. In the blink of an eye, the two boys were sitting on elegant white chairs, with an equally-elegant table between them. It was draped with a crisp white tablecloth, and on it were several tiered stands containing delicious-looking cakes of all colours and flavours. Among them were saucers of butter and bread, as well as floating teapots made from the finest china.

In their hands, both boys held china teacups and saucers, full of a sparkling amber tea that smelled of cinnamon and honey.

“This tea, dear!” Rainbow announced gleefully. He reached for a spoon to scoop up sugar cubes out of a dish. “Any sugars, poppet?”

Steven was taken aback by how immediate the Room had manifested this tea party, but he wasn’t complaining. “Ah- no thanks,” he replied. Rainbow nodded and piled in sugar cube after sugar cube, until Steven was sure he was going to give himself a cavity in this sitting alone.

“So what’s brought you in here, Steven?” Rainbow inquired politely, crossing one leg over the other as he leaned back in his chair to sip his tea. “As far as I’m aware, we’ve never had a chat before.”

Steven decided to just come out with it; Rainbow was a very understanding person, and he should know. Not just that, there was something that Rainbow could offer that nobody else really could. Not even Pearl.

“Yeah, sorry about not coming in here sooner,” Steven apologized, and was met with a dismissive wave of Rainbow’s hand. “It’s just that I’ve...well. I’ve been dealing with a bunch of stuff lately. Stuff that I feel like I can’t really talk to the Gems about.”

Rainbow nodded understandingly. His chipper smile had fallen away, replaced by an understanding pout. “I getcha, son,” he replied softly. “You’re me, and I’m you. I perfectly get what you’re going through. It’s called ‘change’.”

Steven peered down into his cup of tea. His face was reflected back at him in the amber liquid, with his furrowed eyebrows and deep-set frown of uncertainty.

“I know that,” he replied sullenly. “But I don’t know how to handle it.”

He absent-mindedly thumbed the china, not looking up to meet Rainbow’s four-eyed gaze. The Fusion set down his cup and saucer, instead deciding to interlock his lithe fingers around his knee as he patiently waited for his component to continue speaking.

Unlike the Gems, he wasn’t pressing Steven for information he wasn’t ready to give.

“I haven’t seen Connie in ages. We used to spend every day with one another. But lately, she’s been...I wouldn’t say avoiding me, but it certainly feels like it. She’s been spending a lot of her time studying for College, which is a really long time away anyway. I mean, I’m glad she’s passionate about her future and all, but...she actually knows what she’s going to do with her life.”

Rainbow took up his tea again. Steven looked up at the Fusion for the first time in a while, and felt a little more at ease by Rainbow’s willingness to just sit and listen until Steven needed him to say something encouraging. He kind of knew that this was an aspect of the Room, gaging his emotions so that it could make Rainbow say the right thing, but it was comforting all the same.

“Then there’s the Gems. I know that they care for me, and they know what’s best for me, but I just feel like...after spending so much time helping them grow and get over what my Mom did to them, they’re going to leave me behind. I-I know that it’s not intentional or anything, but...it still sucks to see them all so happy with their lives while I’m...kind of left behind, unsure of what to do with myself.”

“At least when the Diamonds were a threat I knew what my future held,” Steven continued, feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach. His saucer and teacup rattled in his trembling hands. “I knew that all I had to do was stop them from harming other Gems and other planets. Somehow. But now that I’ve done that, I-...I don’t know what comes next. Little Homeschool was a bust. Gardening was a nightmare. All my friends in Beach City are moving onto new and better things.”

Steven could feel tears pricking his eyes. He couldn’t help but think of Lars and the Off-Colours in space, Sadie and Shep touring the country, the Cool Kids disbanding their group to pursue their own destinies...none of which included him.

“It’s almost as though everybody’s forgetting me.”

A tear rolled down Steven’s cheek and dripped into his tea, causing ripples. He was momentarily reminded of Garnet’s Future Vision, and how she likened its properties to ripples on a pond’s surface. He wondered if in one of those potential futures, he was confident in what he was going to do for the rest of his life. 

Rainbow was silent for a while. Steven wondered if the Room had dissipated him already. Then the Fusion spoke in such a calm, soft tone that it was like honey in Steven’s ears, causing his churning inner turmoil to momentarily subside.

“You know why I call myself Rainbow 2.0, don’t you? It’s because I’ve changed so much from when your mother Fused with Pearl. Of course, since you’re your own person, so am I. But I still know who the Rainbow before me was. Witty, charismatic, a total drama queen!”

That got a small smile out of Steven.

“But she was a wonderful Gem, let me tell you. She always stuck her neck out for others. She was always there when somebody needed her help. And most importantly, she knew that she was needed, and she knew that no matter what, people would rely on her. Sound familiar?”

Steven nodded, giving Rainbow a shaky smile.

Rainbow grinned at him, his four eyes looking shiny with ghosts of his past as a different person, as a completely different Gem with thoughts and experiences that he somehow retained in his new form.

“I bet you’re wondering where I’m going with this. Well...I changed a whole lot from then ‘til now, and let me tell you: change isn’t all that bad. Yeah, it’s scary, but what about life isn’t scary? Everything is scary if you’re unfamiliar with it. But I know that when I changed, I changed for the better. You have too. You’ve grown into such a wonderful young man, Steven. And I know for a fact that you’re going to keep on growing into somebody even better.”

Rainbow got up from his seat and stepped over to Steven. Taking the rattling teacup and saucer from the smaller boy’s hands, he gently set them down on the tabletop and knelt down in front of Steven, taking both of his hands in his own. Steven’s light brown complexion contrasted with Rainbow’s warm pink.

“Trust me, poppet. I know it’s hard, and scary, but change can be a good thing. A very good thing, in some cases. Just because it feels harsh now, doesn’t mean something brilliant can come out of it. Look at what happened when you took the brave leap from here to Homeworld! You totally changed an entire empire because you put your mind to it. Nice transport, by the way. Very chic.”

Steven giggled again at that, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. Rainbow gave his hands a reassuring squeeze.

“I believe in you, Steven. Never gonna stop, either.”

Steven sniffled, wiping away his tears as he smiled warmly at the Fusion kneeling in front of him, a gentle smile on his own face.

“Geez, you’re making me cry!” He started laughing at the end of his sentence, which encouraged Rainbow to laugh sweetly as well. “When’d you get so kind?”

Rainbow winked at him with two eyes.

“Let’s just say, it comes naturally.”

Rainbow leaned in, and pressed a delicate peck to Steven’s forehead, before slowly evaporating into pink and white clouds. They soon became one with the rest of Rose’s Room, as did the tea party, with its tea and cakes and chairs. Soon, Steven was left standing all alone again in the expanse of clouds, teary-eyed but feeling so much better than when he’d come in. For a while, he remained standing there, absorbing all the advice Rainbow had oh-so-caringly given to him in his moment of need.

Steven didn’t know how much time had passed, but it was long enough for his legs to start hurting and his tears to dry on his cheeks. Sniffling, Steven used his shirt to wipe away the trails from his face, and inhaled and exhaled deeply.

He allowed the cool breeze to ruffle through his curls and soothe his skin, which was fortunately its usual peach. Not a hint of pink in sight.

“Room, I’d like to leave, please,” Steven announced to the clouds. With a puff, the Temple Door materialized in front of him, and opened up upon Steven’s subconscious request. With one last parting look into the skyline, Steven stepped through, and found himself back in his house, with the door shutting noiselessly behind him.

Apparently he’d been in Rose’s Room much longer than he’d thought, as the sun was already setting in the burnt-pink sky outside. The Gems were all sitting in the living room, and all turned their heads to look at him. Steven stared back, and all was silent for a few moments. Expectant, teary eyes bore into his, and Steven eventually relented.

“I need to talk to you guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> Since Steven Universe Future is returning this Friday and I'm all the way messed up thinking about how Steven is going to deal with all his problems, I decided to write a fluffy piece to remind myself that everything will work out in the end. And with who else but Rainbow 2.0!
> 
> Rainbow 2.0 is my favourite Fusion in the show, and I really wished there was some way Fusions could interact with their components. So having Steven talk to Rainbow in Rose's Room is the next best thing!  
> I feel like Rainbow would give amazing advice, especially since he's been through a huge change all his own.
> 
> I'm hoping to write more SU:F Fics in the future! Pun unintended.  
> As always, comments and kudos are always very much appreciated! Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Also, the title was inspired by lyrics from the song "Everybody's Changing" by Keane. It fits Steven's situation very well, unfortunately.


End file.
